


Group chats and bad puns

by ToadFae



Category: Doctor Who, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sherlock (TV), Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, I Don't Even Know, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, SO VERY GAY, What Was I Thinking?, this is gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-15 02:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16924620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToadFae/pseuds/ToadFae
Summary: basically, the title.





	1. Voltron

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tuna-Woman Bro Associate.](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Tuna-Woman+Bro+Associate.).



> This is a birthday gift for my friend and roommate, consequently with (a lot of) inside jokes

_…that’s science bitch created the group chat “Hakuna Matata”.  
…that’s science bitch added space dad(dy), i hate keith, emoboi, they are in love…,, pink paladin and I moustache u a question to the group chat. _

 

…that’s science bitch : get it ? 

…that’s science bitch : hakuna matata 

…that’s science bitch : the lion king 

…that’s science bitch : we pilot LIONS 

pink paladin : Who is this Lion King ? Is Hakuna Matata his motto ? Where is his planet ? 

space dad(dy) : The Lion King is a movie from Earth, Allura. And hakuna matata is a song in it.

i hate keith : no no no allura don’t listen to this nonsense

i hate keith : the lion king does exist 

i hate keith : he is a majestic animal from earth 

they are in love,… : which rules over all the other animals 

they are in love,… : in a beautiful palace 

they are in love,… : made of cakes and candies 

emoboi : stop confusing allura 

i hate keith : shut up

i hate keith : youre still bitter because you thought that simba was real too

emoboi : I was FOUR

I moustache u a question : I suppose young Keith must have been very cute !

space dad(dy) : He was 

...that’s science bitch : WE NEED A PICTURE 

i hate keith : PLS SEND A PIC 

emoboi : don’t do it 

emoboi : or I will personally destroy everything you love and possess

space dad(dy) : even yourself ? *heart eyes emoji*

emoboi : especially myself 

space dad(dy) : *heartbroken emoji*

space dad(dy) : I trust you. 

space dad(dy) : You won’t do it. 

they are in love,… : omg

they are in love,… : shiro used the dad voice 

they are in love,… : keith i’m sorry but your argument is invalid 

i hate keith : well now that it’s settled SEND THE PIC 

…that’s science bitch : why do you want this picture so bad, lance ? 

they are in love,… : that’s suspicious, lance 

…that’s science bitch : we could almost think youre a little obsessed with keith, lance

they are in love,… : explain yourself, lance 

i hate keith : I mean 

i hate keith : i could laugh at keith 

i hate keith : iSn’T tHaT oBviOuS ?

 

_space dad(dy) sent an attachment._

 

i hate keith : O M G 

i hate keith : he’s sO CUTE 

i hate keith : …that’s ridiculous 

they are in love,… : aww the hippo ! 

…that’s science bitch : he has ,,, tiny liTTLE ARMS 

… that’s science bitch : (it didn’t change much)

 

_i hate keith changed his username to keith is ridiculous._

 

emoboi : brb 

emoboi : dying, all this kind of stuff, you know 

space dad(dy) : I know, Keith, I personally experienced it. 

pink paladin : WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY 

I moustache u a question : Young Keith is indeed very cute ! :{3

keith is ridiculous : what 

keith is ridiculous : what is this smiley 

keith is ridiculous : is this :3 but with a moustache ? 

keith is ridiculous : im utterly d e s t r o y e d 

space dad(dy) : then perish. 

…that’s science bitch : omg 

…that’s science bitch : did shiro just used a meme ? 

they are in love,… : I think he just did, dear Pidge, I think he just did. 

…that’s science bitch : this is the beginning of a new era 

emoboi : filled with spongebob, kermit and yeeting things 

they are in love,… : also,,,,, 2 bros, chilling in a hot tub, 5 ft apart cuz theyre not gay 

pink paladin : Why is this reminding me of Keith and Lance ? 

emoboi : ANYWAYS

emoboi : who came up with shiro’s username?

…that’s science bitch : i did 

keith is ridiculous : youre a fucking genius 

space dad(dy) : What with my username ? Is there a joke of some kind ? 

emoboi : no 

…that’s science bitch : no 

keith is ridiculous : no

they are in love,… : no 

I moustache u a question : There is a joke in mine ! It took me some time to find it, but I think it is rather hilarious ! Did you understand ? I made a pun with the word “moustache” !

pink paladin : We know, Coran. 

I moustache u a question : :{D

keith is ridiculous : DEAD


	2. Harry Potter (golden trio era)

_nerd™ created a group chat._

_nerd™ added furiously teasing, angrily flirting, weasel boi, Pan, 2pretty2live, Gred, Forge, unbeleafable friend and miss me with that hetero shit to the group chat._

 

nerd™ : so, you’re not without knowing that the OWLs are in three months 

nerd™ : I do hope you started working 

nerd™ : but in case you did not 

nerd™ : this group chat has a sole purpose : 

nerd™ : we are here to motivate each other 

 

_angrily flirting named the group chat “never gonna give you up”_

 

angrily flirting : never gonna let you down 

angrily flirting : i rickrolled them Hermione 

angrily flirting : im so proud 

furiously teasing : Harry, I want explanations concerning this vocabulary. 

weasel boi : ‘mione, what does this mean ? 

nerd™ : that is a Muggle song 

angrily flirting : considered by many like the very best of songs 

angrily flirting : if you want to make a good impression on Muggles, you should sing this

angrily flirting : they will immediately love you

furiously teasing : Thanks, love ! *heart emoji*

angrily flirting : youre welcome, honey ! *heart emoji*

unbeleafable friend : please someone obliviate me 

 

_nerd™ banned angrily flirting and furiously teasing from the group chat._

 

nerd™ : disgusting. 

nerd™ : they will be allowed to come back when they will stop being so lovey-dovey. 

unbeleafable friend : thanks, Hermione.

unbeleafable friend : they are unbearable.

2pretty2live : I’m sorry, but why am I here ? I don’t have OWLs. We’re not even in the same year !

miss me with that hetero shit : same 

miss me with that hetero shit : and Luna too 

nerd™ : that is because you are good at motivating us 

nerd™ : after all, that’s what friends are for ! ;)))))

miss me with that hetero shit : stop making us feel guilty, we will help you

Pan : of course we will help you ! 

Pan : that would be our pleasure !

 

_Pan added angrily flirting and teasing furiously to “never gonna give you up”._

 

nerd™ : How did you do it ?! 

nerd™ : you’re not even administrator ! 

Pan : I hacked the group chat. 

nerd™ : WHAT 

angrily flirting : thanks Luna ! 

furiously teasing : stop texting and come back to bed *wink wink*

 

_nerd™ banned angrily flirting and furiously teasing from the group chat._

 

2pretty2live : are they always this insufferable ? 

miss me with that hetero shit : yes

miss me with that hetero shit : even I and Luna aren’t like this 

miss me with that hetero shit : even though god knows I love her

Pan : I love you too *heart emoji*

nerd™ : I would like to ban you but I’m afraid of Luna 

miss me with that hetero shit : do u mean ur not afraid of me ? 

2pretty2live : everybody fears you, Ginny 

2pretty2live : it goes without saying 

weasel boi : I beg to differ

weasel boi : she tries to be tough 

weasel boi : but deep, deep down 

weasel boi : she is a tiny little creature 

miss me with that hetero shit : I WILL kill you. 

Gred : we can provide you weapons 

Forge : for a very good price 

weasel boi : and me ? 

Forge : Ginny decided to kill you

Gred : you’re already dead.

unbeleafable friend : which coffin do you want ? 

nerd™ : Please, don’t kill Ron

nerd™ : I need him

weasel boi : I need you too, ‘mione ! 

 

_Pan banned nerd™ and weasel boi from the group chat._

 

unbeleafable friend : im pretty sure they were talking about homework but go on, I guess


	3. Harry Potter (marauders era)

nah she didn’t : I don’t know how 

nah she didn’t : I don’t know why 

nah she didn’t : I don’t know when 

nah she didn’t : I don’t know where 

nah she didn’t : but I know it was you 

if I were a wolf : I absolutely don’t know what you’re talking about 

nah she didn’t : stop pretending to be innocent, Remus 

nah she didn’t : you’re not deceiving anyone in this group chat 

oh deer : alright, Lily 

oh deer : I confess

oh deer : I was the one who sent you this anonymous love letter 

nah she didn’t : THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

nah she didn’t : im talking about the hair of McGonagall 

nah she didn’t : turning green and silver 

nah she didn’t : and the hair of Slughorn 

nah she didn’t : turning red and gold 

yes I am : that’s our most aesthetic prank 

nah she didn’t : so you finALLY ADMIT IT WAS YOU

cheese : im so proud of us 

oh deer : we definitely can be proud, that was very difficult

if I were a wolf : but the best was Dumbledore’s beard 

if I were a wolf : rainbow-coloured 

nah she didn’t : weren’t you afraid to out him to the entire school ? 

yes I am : first of all 

yes I am : the entire school probably knew before 

yes I am : I mean, he’s very open about his sexuality 

yes I am : he told us he was gay at least a million times 

yes I am : he is a Gay Icon™

yes I am : his Gayness is represented in his everyday life………. it is not hidden………………. that would be ridiculous…

oh deer : moreover !! he heard us talking about what we wanted to do to his beard !!! and he laughed !!!!

nah she didn’t : I must confess that it was beautiful 

nah she didn’t : HOWEVER 

nah she didn’t : why didn’t you tell me ??? I could have helped !!

cheese : it would seem we corrupted Lily 

cheese : we’re bad boys after all

yes I am : bitch please 

yes I am : I AM the bad boy

yes I am : Prongs is the super friendly and sporty guy 

yes I am : Wormtail is the best at telling lies 

if I were a wolf : and me ?

oh deer : you like chocolate 

cheese : that’s it, that’s your whole identity 

nah she didn’t : agreed 

nah she didn’t : I’d like to add that you’re all nerds 

yes I am : Moony is not only a guy who likes chocolate, or a nerd. He is also incredibly strong, caring, loving. He folds his socks, he owns at least a thousand pullovers but only wears like five, drinks coffee because it helps him stay awake but prefers the taste of tea, has a neat handwriting, has an incredible laugh but smiles discreetly most of the time, makes the best sarcastic comments in Transfiguration classes, says sorry a million times per day even though he did nothing wrong, has the softest hair you could imagine, and I could go on like that for years

nah she didn’t : …

cheese : …

oh deer : (I ship you sm)

if I were a wolf : well, I love you too *heart emoji*

yes I am : *28 heart emojis*


End file.
